The Days That Could Never Be
by Artisticnincompoop
Summary: Fili and Kili fight their last battle together memories of their life fresh in their mind. And the days they should've spent together. (Spoilers for the battle of five armies).


The Days That Could Never Be

*None of these characters belong to me*

* * *

The skies turned black as the wind crashed against their torn bodies. The display of all their fallen companions was not enough to stop them. Fili and Kili would fight until their last foe dropped to the ground before them. As the fighting hammered on Kili began to doubt he would still be breathing to see that last fateful strike. Arrows fell from the black above and all he could do was raise his shield exposing himself to his opponent in front of him. The first cut was long across his center and sent him tumbling back into another blade. His brother's cry drummed in his ears as he fell to his knees "KILI!"

"_KILI! What have you done now?" His brother yelled from the hall rage in his voice. Kili quickly hid under the bed his heart thumping in his throat. He watched silently trying not to even take a breath as he watched his older brother's boots stomp into the room. "Kili I know it was you!" Fili yelled searching around the room practically a whole garden of flowers tangled with the braids in his hair. Kili yelped when his brother's head leaned down under the bed discovering him. "KILI!" _

He opened his eyes painfully seeing his brothers brows strung together in worry searching him for life. Kili lifted a hand to his brother's face. Fili grasped his hand back for a moment before turning to fight off any and all attackers who neared his brother's failing body. Kili left his hand in the air watching as Fili fought with the large numbers against him. He struggled his best to stand again needing to help. This only distracted his brother "No Kili don't move!" He looked back at his Kili shifting onto his knees when he saw Thorin fall not far off. "NO!" Fili's pain sounded through his yell as he attempted to aid his uncle as well only being struck himself. Thorin looked over at his kin despair plaguing his eyes with water.

_Thorin's cough vibrated off the stone walls. Fili and Kili could both feel the tremors in their chest. Fili stood handing his ill uncle a mug of water and helping him raise his weak head to down the contents. Thorin smiled as Fili returned to sit on the opposite side of his bed as Kili. He looked at them both holding out his hands. "I'll be fine boys, thank you." His voice was hoarser than its usual base sound and Kili frowned. "We'll always aid you uncle." He grasped both Thorin's and Fili's hands in his, giving them a small smile. Fili looked on his brother who had grown into a man right before his eyes pride swelling in his chest. "Yes we will." He confirmed gripping tightly onto both their hands._

Fili raised his sword above his head as one of his knees gave out. He resisted in a struggle of pure strength sweat clouding his eyes and fear blackening his heart at his fallen uncle and brother. The sight of them powered him to push on but it was not enough. The sword was knocked from his hand as both Kili and Thorin cried out watching as the goblin before Fili cut through his middle. Kili took one step ignoring the pain shooting through his body in a poor attempt to reach Fili. Kili's eyes widened in horror watching as his brother's head fell back to the ground his golden hair fanning out around him.

_The sun rose slowly over the tops of the trees a beautiful bright orange setting the branches on fire with the gleam. But all Kili could do was stare at his brother. The light only enhanced the gold in his hair and Kili felt his breath catch when Fili turned to look at him. "Don't look at me like that." Fili joked elbowing his brother in the chest. Kili quickly looked away his blood rushing to his cheeks. Fili watched his brother's reaction a knot in his stomach forming when he realized the blush on his cheeks. He peeled his eyes away from Kili's handsome features resting an arm over his shoulder pulling him closer. They watched the sun continue to rise until they had to move again. _

Kili inched forward watching as his brother's hand lifted up waiting for Kili to find it. He grasped it as soon as he could reach him. He pulled his brother into his chest his forehead resting atop Fili's now dirtied blond hair. "Thorin?" Fili coughed out turning his head to the side trying to find Thorin and the place he had fallen. A goblin stood over their uncle ready to pierce his chest with another spear. "Kili!" Fili's voice rung with dread as Kili's chest vanished from under him. Kili moved quickly retrieving an abandoned spear and lunging it through the air as hard as he could muster into the Goblin's chest before it could wound Thorin further. Kili fell back on his knees his face planting into the ground hard. Thorin looked back in shock as hands gripped his shoulders pulling him from under the fallen goblin. He saw Fili crawling towards his fallen brother and yelled as the hands continued to pull him away.

"FILI, KILI!" He yelled urgently trying to reach them seeing only pain in their eyes. Kili watched as their uncle was dragged back towards the safety of the mountain his heart giving out and his arms shaking beside him.

"Thorin!" Kili cried back as his brother turned him over. He pushed at Fili trying to find strength that was no longer there to follow after him. Fili held him back against his struggles.

"_You never let me do anything!" Kili screamed as they returned to their room. Fili felt his brothers hate in his chest. "We would be back in a week!" Kili cried turning on his brother and shoving him into the wall. Fili grabbed his brother's hands stopping him from his punches. _

"_It's too dangerous! You're still too young to be going out on your own! The scouts will be fine without you!" Fili struggled against his brother's strength and accidently clashed his fist into Kili's jaw. "Kili…I-"he tried to touch the injured spot but Kili withdrew holding his jaw in pain. Fili stared in fear at his brother while he glared at him unmoving. _

"_Why won't you just admit it?" Kili yelled stepping back to his brother. _

"_What? Admit-" Kili pressed their chest together and Fili felt a heat inside of him rise to his heart. Kili's lips were hard and sloppy against his. Before Fili let his mind tell him no he kissed him back letting Kili's arms wrap around him and carry them to Kili's bed. They struggled for dominance biting at the other's lips and ripping their unwanted clothing from their skin. Kili won the fight holding Fili's hands above his head as he placed frantic kisses along Fili's skin where ever he could reach. Before long Fili was withering beneath him in needy moans and grunts as he entered him. Their pace was fast and desperate as they both moaned out their pleasure. Kili collapsed above his brother's chest. Fili woke early in the morning staring at his brother's calm face as he dressed and left him in his pile of furs and clothes. _

"Fili! He's gone!" Kili cried into his brother's chest, the pain finally too much for him to hold back. Fili felt his brother's hurt amplified in his body as he clung onto the life that still lingered in him.

"It's ok I'm here. We're here together." Fili whispered his voice breaking against the words. Kili held onto Fili's shirt trying to breath in as much of him as possible. Tears streaming down his face as Fili rocked him back and forth. "Don't cry…don't cry, I'm here."

"_Don't cry…It's weak." Fili said watching his brother from the corner of the room. Kili lifted his head from his hands pleading to his brother with his sorrow filled eyes. _

"_We- we can…just ask-" He began hope filling him at one last chance. _

"_Ask Thorin? He would kill us just like any other sensible dwarf." Fili interrupted before Kili could finish. Kili broke out into another sob that crashed against Fili's heart. He couldn't show his brother the pain he felt, he had to be strong. It was the only way they would get through this. He turned on the spot after another few moments of Kili's crying unable to stand another minute of it. Kili called out after him but the tears had already started to fall and he ran off down the halls. They spent years in this shared pain never again allowing themselves a night of weakness. _

"Don't leave me…" Kili whispered looking up into Fili's red eyes. Fili nodded hugging Kili closer to him. The battle slipped away from them they listened to each other's breath needing to hear the next exhale just to know they were still alive. Both fighting off the pain of being apart for even a moment of their lives. Fili felt Kili's chest still against his palm and his eyes searched his brother over and over again for life. His own chest collapsed in on its self as his hands frantically shook Kili's limp body.

"KILI! WAKE UP!" He called his brother's name over and over again the sound of it on his lips only creating more tears in his eyes as his whole body began to shake with fear and anger. What if he somehow survived his wounds and had to live the rest of his days without Kili? The thought sent him spiraling and he crushed his brother's body to his, sobbing out the pain.

"_A ladder?" Fili yelled into his brother's face. Kili's grin instantly sunk as he looked back into the fire. They had just escaped the goblin city and chose to rest under the tall rock the eagles had brought them to before they started their journey once again. _

"_It worked." Kili mumbled flicking a rocking with his fingers into the burning fire. Sparks flew out of the fire and Fili groaned in frustration stomping his foot down on a piece of burning grass. Kili shook his head in anger and laid back down ignoring his brother's angry glare and watching as the others around them all snored peacefully. He felt Fili lie on his make shift bed behind his and closed his eyes tight trying to make sleep take him. _

"_I thought I was going to lose you." Fili's voice was soft and his breath traced along the side of Kili's neck. Kili shuttered and felt Fili's hand rest on his side pulling him into Fili's chest. _

"_Fili…" Kili whispered back as Fili began to plant small kisses along his neck. It was the first time since that night so long ago Fili touched him like this. _

"_Shh." Fili countered bringing his hand around his back and lifting a blanket over them. Kili turned his head just in time to catch Fili's lips as Fili moved his hand around his brother's front. Kili let out a soft whimper as Fili began to untie his pants and Fili quieted him again. Kili lifted his hand to his brother's face forcing him into a passionate kiss as Fili continued to work on lowering their pants. Kili's heart pounded against his chest as his brother's hand softly traced over his body. He was left shaking in need feeling Fili's heart pulse fast against his fingers as his hand caressed the stubble on his neck. Soon Fili was gently sliding into Kili's opening and pressing his hand to Kili's chest pushing him back against him as close as possible. Kili brought his hips back against Fili's, his mind filling over with the soft moans Fili was releasing from his lips. They laid there hardly moving against each other, exploring the other's body with light fingers and gentle kisses for what felt like hours. Until Fili could stand no more Kili spilt into his hand as he poured into his brother releasing a grunt slightly too loud._

_Thorin's eye's peaked open seeing the two of them softly kissing the other over and over again. He watched only for a moment more before re closing his eyes and forgetting he ever saw anything. Fili turned Kili to face him wrapping him tightly in his arms. "You'll never lose me." Kili whispered resting his hand over Fili's chest above his heart. Fili gave him another kiss before they both fell asleep in the other's arms. _

It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were going to make up for all their lost time together uncaring of the cruel eyes that watched. They were going to grow old and watch each other's beards grow in. This couldn't be true, it was just another horrible nightmare. Kili couldn't die, he couldn't go from him. Fili opened his eyes and knew all too well this was no dream as he felt his pain increasing. The grey haze around them began to fade into black as the sounds of the ongoing battle became muted against his ears. He looked onto his brother's face needing to touch him just once more. He achingly moved his neck to place one tender kiss to Kili's cold lips tears still fresh on his skin. As he made the connection the world fell from him into a darkness as he lay across his brother's body.

"I'll be with you soon…"


End file.
